In my dreams it seemed less awful to be in love with Veronica. It seemed like in that world there was no paternity issue or worry that she could ever be my sister. In my dreams I held her close and never had to turn away, never had to be a coward or worry about being the person who took her father away from her. In my dreams we could be happy and it wasn't wrong, in my dreams there was no chance for it to be wrong.

I pulled her close in my dreams and smelled the strawberry shampoo she used without remorse but when I opened my eyes and turned my head I knew this was not a dream.

Oh, God. What had I done?

Veronica, still clad in that innocent white dress was laying next to me. We were in one of the Polmeroy's guest room's and there was absolutely no doubt in my mind what had happened the night before. It slowly came back to me and I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. I should have felt far more disgusted with myself than I did at that moment and the need to bolt was strong. It was so strong I sat up and looked around for my clothes. It wasn't until I looked over at her that everything inside seemed to break.

My sister. I was in love with her, there had never been a time since I'd first realized what I felt was love when I wasn't. Not even in those crushing moments when my mother told me Veronica was my sister.

Looking at her laying there so beautiful made me question it all. Not just myself and what kind of person I was but that maybe she wasn't. Our parents hadn't said anything until that day, why?

What if she wasn't?

I knew I was grasping, trying to justify being with her when it was wrong, so wrong on every level imaginable.

Even beyond our possible relation, the night was slowly coming back to me, she'd been so drunk and so had I. I swallowed hard and just watched her, remembering how she said she missed me and how I'd been so weak. How much I loved her and how sick that made me.

I sighed and closed my eyes wondering what I could do. I could continue to be a coward and run away. Maybe she'd never bring it up, it would just be something unspoken that happened that we didn't talk about. Maybe she'd hate me forever and never be able to look at me the same way for sleeping with her and then leaving. But could I do that? Could I really just walk away from her, even with how much she'll probably hate me if I say?

I'd just stopped being there. I'd ignored her and pretended we'd never been together because I couldn't deal with looking at her and loving her. I was a coward and I didn't think I could keep being a coward, I didn't think I could walk away again. Even if she thought I was the most disgusting person in the world I didn't think I could just leave.

I got up and slowly put on my clothes, swallowing thickly as I stepped over her white cotton panties on the floor. I prepared myself for what I was sure would be horrible and I carefully nudged her awake, already feeling the tears pooling behind my eyes. First I'd try to get her out of here because the last thing either of us needed was someone walking in on us or the conversation we had to have. The conversation that was twisting around in my gut.

I couldn't not tell her now, I had no choice.

"Veronica, wake up," I whispered quietly letting myself indulge in carefully pushing her hair out of her face.